sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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