Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
