I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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