I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
