Your face is a jimmy john
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
