I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
