i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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