I'm eating all of the evidence.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
