I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
