Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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