Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I will be naked everywhere
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
