The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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