I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
