There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Randomize
