90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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