why didn't you poke me back
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
