yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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