69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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