just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
