would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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