Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
