mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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