I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
