Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
