halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
