every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
