Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
