so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
be right there i have to get my cape
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
