Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
