Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
