Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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