Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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