she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
