Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
