Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
