You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
