OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
