i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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