I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
