found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
