do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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