Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just had sex bonerless
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Randomize
