I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
