So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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