You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Randomize
