found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize