You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
