party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
