Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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