Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
