he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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