i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
