Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize