The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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