I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize