if i died would you start the facebook group?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
