apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This house was built for laser tag.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize