That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize