yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
