i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
