Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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