I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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