I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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