Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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