Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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