I hate all girls vehemently.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
