how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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