drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
